There she sat, thinking about the wrong guy all over again.
How is it possible to love two people? One more than the other, the one she was with. But the other nonetheless.
If he found about about this, he’d be furious. It was forbidden for her to have anything to do with him after all that had happened. The jealously would drive him to draw blood. She feared for his safety, but missed him more than anything.
Not having him in her life after being so dependent on him made her weak, dreary, sad.
But the weaker she got, the stronger her relationship with him got. He knew something was wrong. No matter how much she lied about being fine, he could tell she wasn’t as happy as she used to be.
She might have successfully blamed it on a lot of other believable things, but for how long?
Till she ran out of convincing reasons? Or till she couldn’t take it anymore?
She couldn’t lose him. She truly did love him.
How naive how her to want the best of both worlds just for once.
The best of two worlds that were very aware of each other, and were almost polar opposites.
One kind, caring, an asylum for her sensitivity but unable to grant her freedom and the other strong, protective but somewhat harsh on her weaknesses.
She knew what had to be done. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it.
She knew what she’d be getting into.
She didn’t want to hurt either of them, but blame her for being so helpless without either one.
05 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
There she sat, thinking about the wrong guy all over again.
13 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Broken, camera, Documentary, Documentary/ Information, Information, photograpy, pictures Tags: airplanes, attack, Blog, documentary, infamy speech, information, japan, Memory, pearl harbour, photography, pictures, prayers, president franklin roosevelt, project, Reasoning, thoughts, usa
What were the Japanese thinking when they concocted their Pearl Harbor plan? Were they not aware that such an act would ignite outrage in the American people and invite retribution? Had the delivery of the 14-page document to Secretary Hull been on time, would it have mitigated the outcome? Japan eventually paid the dearest price for its conduct.
On December 7, 1941, Japanese planes attacked the United States Naval Base at Pearl Harbor,Hawaii Territory, killing more than 2,300 Americans. The U.S.S. Arizona was completely destroyed and the U.S.S. Oklahoma capsized. A total of twelve ships sank or were beached in the attack and nine additional vessels were damaged. More than 160 aircraft were destroyed and more than 150 others damaged.
A hurried dispatch from the ranking United States naval officer in Pearl Harbor, Commander in Chief Pacific, to all major navy commands and fleet units provided the first official word of the attack at the ill-prepared Pearl Harbor base. It said simply: AIR RAID ON PEARL HARBOR X THIS IS NOT DRILL.
When the first Japanese attack wave arrived over Pearl Harbor seven of their primary targets, the U.S. battleships, were moored along “Battleship Row”, on the eastern side of Ford Island. Another battleship was in drydock in the nearby Navy Yard. Other moorings which the Japanese believed might include battleships, or the equally important aircraft carriers, were at the Navy Yard’s 1010 Dock and along Ford Island’s western side.
The Japanese initially hit airfields, including that on Ford Island. Dive bombers attacked there at about 7:55 AM, destroying many aircraft, among them PBY patrol planes at the island’s southern tip. This attack prompted the dispatch of the famous message “Air raid, Pearl Harbor — this is no drill”, the outside World’s first indication that war had come to the Pacific.
Within a few moments, torpedo planes attacked from east and west, with one of the latter torpedoing the USS Helena at 1010 dock. Others, from the same direction, hit USS Utah and USS Raleigh, off the western side of Ford Island.
The great majority of the torpedo planes came in from the east, flying up the waterway between Pearl Harbor Navy Yard and the Submarine Base to hit the ships on that side of Ford Island. They put two “fish” into USS California, at the southern end of the row. At the northern end, another struck USS Nevada. The outboard ships in the center of “Battleship Row”, USS Oklahoma and West Virginia, each had their port sides torn open by many torpedoes.
As the torpedo planes were completing their work, horizontal bombers swept up “Battleship Row”, dropping armor-piercing bombs. Several ships were hit. One received a death blow, as USS Arizona blew up with a tremendous explosion.
Planes of the second attack wave revisited some of the ships already hit, and also spread destruction in the Navy Yard, where they bombed the drydocked battleship Pennsylvania and three destroyers. Other dive bombers went after the Nevada, which had left her berth and was trying to get to sea. Very heavy anti-aircraft gunfire greeted these aircraft, whose losses were significantly greater than those of the first attack wave.
The raiders had no opportunity to hit American aircraft carriers, all of which were at sea, and did not target fuel storage, most cruisers and destroyers, submarines and most maintenance facilities. However, in just under two hours they had wrecked the U.S. Pacific Fleet’s battleship force, ensuring that it would not interfere with Japan’s plans for conquest.
188 U.S. aircraft were destroyed; 2,402 men were killed and 1,282 wounded. The power station, shipyard, maintenance, and fuel and torpedo storage facilities, as well as the submarine piers and headquarters building (also home of the intelligence section) were not attacked. Japanese losses were light: 29 aircraft and five midget submarines lost, and 65 servicemen killed or wounded. One Japanese sailor was captured.
WHY DID THE JAPANESE ATTACK PEARL HARBOR?
The road to war between Japan and the United States began in the 1930s when differences over China drove the two nations apart. In 1931 Japan conquered Manchuria, which until then had been part of China. In 1937 Japan began a long and ultimately unsuccessful campaign to conquer the rest of China. In 1940, the Japanese government allied their country with Nazi Germany in the Axis Alliance, and, in the following year, occupied all of Indochina.
The United States, which had important political and economic interests in East Asia, was alarmed by these Japanese moves. The U.S. increased military and financial aid to China, embarked on a program of strengthening its military power in the Pacific, and cut off the shipment of oil and other raw materials to Japan.
Because Japan was poor in natural resources, its government viewed these steps, especially the embargo on oil as a threat to the nation’s survival. Japan’s leaders responded by resolving to seize the resource-rich territories of Southeast Asia, even though that move would certainly result in war with the United States.
The problem with the plan was the danger posed by the U.S. Pacific Fleet based at Pearl Harbor. Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto, commander of the Japanese fleet, devised a plan to immobilize the U.S. fleet at the outset of the war with a surprise attack.
The key elements in Yamamoto’s plans were meticulous preparation, the achievement of surprise, and the use of aircraft carriers and naval aviation on an unprecedented scale. In the spring of 1941, Japanese carrier pilots began training in the special tactics called for by the Pearl Harbor attack plan.
In October 1941 the naval general staff gave final approval to Yamamoto’s plan, which called for the formation of an attack force commanded by Vice Admiral Chuichi Nagumo. It centered around six heavy aircraft carriers accompanied by 24 supporting vessels. A separate group of submarines was to sink any American warships which escaped the Japanese carrier force.
The attacking planes came in two waves; the first hit its target at 7:53 AM, the second at 8:55. By 9:55 it was all over. By 1:00 PM the carriers that launched the planes from 274 miles off the coast of Oahu were heading back to Japan.
WORDS OF THE PRESIDENT.. Franklin Roosevelt.
“It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time the Japanese Government had deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.
The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. Very many American
lives were lost. In addition American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.
Yesterday the Japanese Government also launched an attack against Malaya.
Last night Japanese forces attacked Hong Kong.
Last night Japanese forces attacked the Philippine Islands.
Last night Japanese forces attacked Wake Island.
This morning the Japanese attacked Midway Island.
Japan has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Pacific area. The facts of yesterday speak for themselves. The people of the United States have already formed their opinions and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation.
As Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy I have directed that all measures be taken for our defense.
Always will we remember the character of the onslaught against us.
No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory.
I believe I interpret the will of the Congress and of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost but will make very certain that this form of treachery shall never endanger us again.
Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger.
With confidence in our armed forces-with the unbounded determination of our people-we will gain the inevitable triumph-so help us God.
I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, 7 December, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese Empire.”
A SURVIVOR’S STORY
The story of D. Weissman, Seaman, First Class is as follows:
I was in the lower handling room of Turret IV. After the first hit, I went to the shell deck. The lights went out and the ship started to turn over. I went to the lower handling room and followed a man with a flash light. I entered the trunk just outside of handling room on the starboard side. The lower handling room flooded completely. Water entered the trunk. I dove and swam to the bottom of the trunk and left the ship through the hatch at the main deck and swam to the surface.
Eleven men in the lower handling room of turret IV escaped through the lucky bag. When the rescue party cut a hole in the lucky bag, the water rose rapidly but all men were removed before the water flooded the lucky bag completely.
Five men were in the five inch twenty-five caliber handling room preparatory to sending up anti-aircraft ammunition. They escaped to the five inch handling room and reduced flooding through ventilation ducts by stuffing rags in the lines. They were eventually saved by the rescue party by way of the shaft alley.
Eight men with water up to their necks were rescued from the steering compartment after these men, who had set condition “Z,” were enabled to enter the steering room through the hole made for them. Three holes were made in all; pumps were in use constantly to keep the level of the water and oil below the danger point.
As the shock turned into anger, America’s leaders acted quickly. The day after the attack, before a joint session of Congress, President Roosevelt made his famous speech that labeled December 7 as “a date which will live in infamy.” The Senate voted unanimously for war. The House vote would have been unanimous, too, were it not for one interesting historical footnote: Montana’s Jeannette Rankin (a pacifist) voted against war saying that “she wanted to show that a good democracy does not always vote unanimously for war.” Three days after Pearl Harbor, Germany and Italy declared war on the US, and Congress passed another joint resolution fully involving the US in World War II.
08 Sep 2011 1 Comment
Love is like gravity. A strange, freeing, compromising, emotion-filled pull that keeps us grounded, but at the same time enables us to fly high and dream openly about our most cherished fantasies. It’s like a treasure chest filled with all our favorite moments that just mesmerizes us and evades the limitations of willingness and drowns us in an ocean of moments that capture our heart and souls every second of the day. When it hits you, it lifts you up and lightens your burdens , you feel like your dancing with butterflies in a sky lit with the northern lights. You fell like flying alongside shooting stars and you feel strong enough to be able to tame even the harshest streak of lightening. Every second seems longer, but yet somehow time begins to fly past you. Even an incident that occurred a year ago seems like it caught hold of you only yesterday.
Willingness, compromise, pain hope, happiness, disappointment and thousands of the emotions fill you up to the brim and somewhere lost among these emotions, you try and find your way to the surface.
But every time you get even near the top, near even a quarter of an understanding to what you’re going through, these emotions magnify and you find yourself buried under them all over again. You find a moment filled with happiness can lift you up past the tallest mountain and in almost a split-second, when you experience pain, that very same mountain feels like its been put on dropped of your chest, not allowing you to breathe. Love calms you down and that same love hypes you up to the extent that you feel like you can outrun even light if the person you love is standing at the finish-line as your reward for winning. You feel ready to take any bullet, hit or measure of pain for that person just as long as they remain happy, safe and protected.
You are at your most vulnerable… and that’s when love comes and stabs you so sharply in your heart that you are stunned and can no longer breathe or think.
08 Sep 2011 2 Comments
in Alone, Broken, De- Stress, Dedication, determination, Inspirational, Lonely, Love, Memory, pictures, Realisation, Thoughts Tags: Alone, Broken, broken hearted, De-stress, dedication, determination, inspirational, Lonely, Love, Memory, pictures, realization, thoughts
After a trauma, your body is at its most vulnerable. Response time is critical. So you’re suddenly surrounded by people—doctors, nurses, specialists, technicians—surgery is a team sport. Everyone pushing for the finish line. Putting you back together again.
But heart-break is a trauma in and of itself, and once it’s over, the real healing begins. It’s called recovery. Recovery is not a team sport. It’s a solitary distance run. It’s long. It’s exhausting. And it’s lonely as hell.
The length of your recovery is determined by the extent of your injuries. And it’s not always successful. No matter how hard we work at it. Some wounds might never fully heal. You might have to adjust to a whole new way of living. Things may have changed too radically to ever go back to what they were. You might not even recognize yourself. It’s like you haven’t recovered anything at all. You’re a whole new person with a whole new life.
You realize that the people that surround you, and are a part of your daily life, are suddenly not the kind you’d want to spend your time with or mix with anymore. Either they remind you too much of something you’re trying to completely, or they have suddenly developed a contrasting thought process in comparison to yours. You start highlighting qualities of theirs which you never even notices anymore. You find yourself drifting away from these people in a desperate search for a new circle of people and friends to match up to your new life. To match the “New You”.
You may either become completely emotionless, and deal with like with an attitude that nothing affects you anymore or you don’t really care anymore about anything because it isn’t worth it. Or you may become extremely emotional. To the extent that anything, at the drop of the hat can make you tear up and start balling.
You won’t understand what has to be done at this stage. You’ll probably feel that this is going to last forever. That you’ve permanently changed wither into a rock, or a wreck.
Well to be honest, the best thing to do at this point is not do anything at all. Let the breakup run its course. Let everything settle down. You probably think that you can fix it right now, but you can’t. Trust me. Doing anything before the dust settles will only ensure you know down some other pillar as you can’t see where you’re going. So sit tight. Get in touch with all your feelings. Get them out of your system. Once everything has settled, which could take from a month to a year, and you both have had enough time to think, then go talk things out. If it’s love, it’s gotta last, if it didn’t last, it wasn’t love. So don’t be afraid to give yourself as much of a time out as you and your body need.
Just remember this guys. Every dark cloud has a silver lining, and the night’s always the darkest before the dawn..
Things WILL get better. They have to.
Lots of love.
P.s- Leave a comment if you liked the post of if you generally have any comments on the topic! Thankyouuu!
13 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
Think of a small, dark room. A room filled with all the memories that make you feel like howling your eyes out. Memories that make you so angry, that you feel like you could kill someone. Memories that make you so sad, that you could lose track of time due to depression. Now think about what would happen, if you would get locked into that room, and someone lost the keys which were the only means through which you could get out.
Trapped in all those suffocating memories, you see moments and frames of your life which you thought you had long forgotten. You relive moments which you wished and wished weren’t yours. You stand and watch yourself make a million wrong decisions but you can’t do anything about them. It feels like torture. The pain gets worse than open surgery without anesthesia. Undergoing that trauma all over again kills your self – confidence. You are so emotionally overcome by everything you feel and see that you can barely manage speaking a few broken-up words. You’re lost. You’re stuck. You’ve got nowhere to go.
Depression is defined as a condition of mental disturbance, typically with lack of energy and difficulty in maintaining concentration or interest in life. It brings along with it feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy, severe despondency and dejection. But in reality, it’s a whole lot more.
It feels like your life has lost all meaning that it ever had. As though you’re not good enough to live, and nobody cares about you anymore. You cry for hours on end without even knowing why. Light and smiles feel like arch enemies, and the dark becomes a place where you confide in yourself. You lose your appetite and your sleep, an it feels like someone took a big chunk out of your heart.
It’s not necessary that you feel this way because someone has hurt you or anything of that sort. Sometimes it just a phase that you go through, but for those of you who get stuck in this phase for more than a month continuously, its time to break out and go see what things life has in store for you. Go smell the flowers and see the butterflies.
You must always remember that even though it might seem like not even a soul cares, there are always people who do. You will probably disagree with me out here, but i can assure you that if you just post a sad face as your status on facebook, or tweet it out, at least 3 people will ask you if you’re okay and what happened. It might not seem like a lot, but at least 3 people kills your idea of not a soul caring.
There’s absolutely no need for you to let anything make you feel so bad. Even though you might not know the source o your depression, change the way your mind thinks. Try diverting your mind fro thinking (which is obviously making you sad ) to just processing.
You can do this by watching some episodes, listening to music, dancing, reading, etc. At first you won’t feel like it, but once you make it into a routine you will realize that the time you spend doing these things, your mid will be so busy just processing what you are doing that it wont have time to remind you of all the things that went wrong.
Stare at a blank sheet of paper. Go on, do it. Now tell me what you see. A blank, empty page right? Good. Now make that page the new beginning you desperately need. Fill it up with colors. You may even just fake it at first, but keep going, you’ll soon see that you will start genuinely feeling happy. Do new things. Go talk to new people. Even if it means cutting a few people out of your life for a while, go do it.
Break out through the dark clouds like a glowing beam of sunshine. You owe it to yourself, and to all the people around you.
P.s- Leave a comment if you liked the post of if you generally have any comments on the topic! Thankyouuu!